I'm going to try not to get too schmaltzy and silently weep with heart explosive mama joy over here on the other side of the computer as I write this... but if I do, now you've at least been warned.
This is my last week on this year long photo project I've been doing with my littles, and I'm so crazy overwhelmed with happiness that I started it. I feel like I've always struggled with seeing myself as an excellent mother, as I'm sure is fairly common. I've never been the mom who loves rolling around on the floor, or playing Barbies, swords, or block building with my kids all day. I have things that I want/need to do to keep from going a little mad, like cultivating my own inner curiosity, working on projects that fulfill me and push me to grow in new ways, and I suppose I used to feel slightly guilty about that. Not anymore. I may not be the playing type mom but this project has shown me that what I really love doing as a mother is watching; watching them explore, watching them discover and learn and documenting those moments.
This project has given me the gift of seeing how beautiful it is to have little darlings who sometimes eat an entire bowl of popcorn and then promptly lose it all on the living room carpet and sometimes say things like, "mom, the rain is the best - - - it's like a really BIG sprinkle!" There have been a lot of heart-melty moments and a lot of gut splitting hilarious moments over the past year and because of this project I've jumped up from my cozy seat to grab my camera and snap them and it has been worth every effort. The best most beautiful gift this project has given is showing me that the type of mother I am is perfect in their eyes. I don't need to be anything but what I am, a mother who loves them.